Hi everyone!
For some reason this week has been hard for me. I have not taken the time I need to sit down and really think things through. When I go to meditate, my kids pop in with a question. So, then if I do it at night, I fall asleep because I am exhausted! Let my body go "limp" and I am done for!
Reducing my stress level is a MUST. I get stressed out SO easily it is quite frankly, ridiculous! When I started to think of the stressors, the biggest one of them all is trying to play all my different roles in the house. My cousin once said to me, "In my next life, I hope I am a man." Now, not to sound sexist, but truly it is so different. As woman we take this responsibility (whether we are told to or not) to wear 100 different hats. The man does his responsibilities, but outside of taking their morning dump and getting themselves ready for work, the rest of the process is laid out for them on what they need to do at home. Now, don't get me wrong.....my husband is wonderful and is the love of my life. He is so helpful with our kids and is the best father I could ever ask for. I guess I just wish I could be like him and not see the dishes piled up, the toys all over, the laundry overflowing, the food running low, etc.....and be able to focus on what is in front of them at that moment. He is so laid back and non-confrontational and I am so envious of it. When I sit, go to bed, shower - all of those times and more my mind is constantly thinking of what I need to do next or what I forgot to do. Does anyone else feel this way? I know it is not the way to live, but this is what my brain does to me. I think many woman feel like this.
So when they asked us to write down things that make us happy....I love to go out and socialize. Problem is the stress of getting the sitter, getting everything ready, etc. to get to go out and socialize. Then it is the worry that the kids are o.k. Not as much fun when that all comes in to play. OK........so my kids make me happy...........oh but wait........they stress me out, too. My husband and I have fun together.........but wait.......now it is my time to have one on one time to tell him everything that stressed me out during the week! Does this make sense to anyone out there?????
The best option I can think of is to get this exercise thing going in a routine. My time, something I will feel good about. Now, I went to the personal trainer and he tested me on strength, flexibility, endurance (VO2), body fat. I was so excited to write up a plan with him and we put in all the numbers (my goal weight) compared to body fat and water percentage and then BAM! He hits me with the cost. For 48 sessions at 3x per week equals 4 months (plus coming in whenever for aerobic activity) puts us at $3,000.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me? How am I going to convince my husband of this.........um......I am not. I would probably laugh at him if he tried to tell me he was going to pay that, so I don't even expect him to consider it. So, I started researching other opportunities and I may have found a better option with finances, too. I will keep you all posted.
Now, I see tomorrow they suggest to go outside..........If you live in Cleveland you are probably wondering as I am that global warming is an actual fact, because it is FREEZING HERE! Kind of like Al Gore giving his global warming speech yesterday in DC during an ice storm. I won't go there.........
OK - I am off to meditate.................don't forget to listen to me on Sirius tomorrow morning at 10:15am.
Happy De-Stressing!
Maria
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7 comments:
Hi,
If I am not mistaken, I feel like you are me!! This sounds like the same speach I recite at my house a dozen times a week. When do I get a day off? When can I lay on the couch and watch TV all day and do nothing? Well, here's your answer...Wednesday. I didn't even get out of my PJs. My boys are like, "Mom, are you making dinner?" Sure, as soon as this program is over. lol!
Anyway, I hear you, Maria, not only is it about 20F outside, there is about 16 inches of snow on the ground mixed with some ice! Not working so much here.
Anyway, take a deep breath, make a cup of tea, grab a good book, fill the tub up with hot water and lock the door once you are in the bathroom. Tell everyone you are not taking calls, comments or questions for 30 minutes. Who knows, maybe it will work!
tami
hi tami!
thank you for the advice! i think i am totally going to try the bath with a locked door and a book....great idea! hope your day is great today!
maria
Hey Maria,
I can totally relate to what you're saying. As much as I love my daughter, my life became so much more stressful after she was born, simply because of the responsibility. Of course, we all know kids come with responsibilities, but the reality is so much greater than I ever expected. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's, but it's been a tough transition--even now that she's three!
My advice about meditating. Don't bother stressing over it--so not worth it, and clearly not the point. :) If you're having trouble, try stealing just two minutes to start. You don't have to be anywhere special to meditate. How about before you get out of your car to go to work/shop/whatever, sit for two minutes. Washing all those dishes? Try to use the time to clear your head. That bath would be a nice time to clear your mind, too.
You're very right about exercise helping with stress. That stinks that the trainer costs so much. I hope you find another way to keep up the good work.
Most of all, be kind to yourself. Life is indeed very stressful. Try not think poorly of yourself for getting stressed--you are human! When you find yourself going in a negative direction, yell (in your head) "stop!" Now take a few deep breaths and picture a beautiful ocean (or something relaxing). The last person you need to hear constant criticism from is yourself. Best of luck! Donna Coco, articles editor, Body+Soul
Maria,
I completely agree about the difference between men and women. I can't go to bed at the end of the day if there are dirty dishes sitting in the sink, laundry on the floor, blankets in piles around the living room, etc. It drives me crazy! I need order to feel calm. However, it's a different story with my husband. He leaves his dirty bowls and cups on the floor without a care in the world, and lugs off to bed without thinking twice -- and then sleeps more soundly than I do! I know that he would be more than happy to help if I asked him share the load -- and he DOES happily help when I ask -- but the burden seems to more naturally fall on my shoulders. While I love taking care of him, the responsibilities in the household are VERY unbalanced. And I'm not even a stay-at-home wife! I work 10 hours a day, get home after he does, and still have to "play wife." So you're definitely not alone! It feels good to vent once in a while!
WOW, am I glad I read your post. I went to bed with literally the same thoughts running through my head last night.
I try to relax right after my workout (I can't afford to exercise in a gym by any stretch of the imagination). If I'm any less tired than that, I can't "shut off" ...
I love when I go downstairs to workout and everybody has to come down and ask me where this is and what they should do with that. Cheaper than the gym but not quite the same. I think most of us feel the same way as you Maria. It is a woman thing. We need to let more go and take that time for ourselves. It is so important. Without feeling guilty, like I do most of the time. I am working on it though!!
Heidi
what happened to the blog :)? I was so interested....
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